The Do's and Dont's of Talking With Your Teen About Weight Loss

For the teen who, perhaps, hasn't acknowledged that a problem exists, you will need to take an extremely careful and sensitive approach. I suggest beginning with an introduction question in order to gauge her attitude and receptiveness. "A friend of mine was telling me about this amazing, easy, weight loss program she's on. Would you be interested in hearing about it?"
Even if your teen expresses interest, you don't have to jump right into it. You can always say "Good - let me find out more about it and I'll get back to you! I'm glad you're so receptive to hearing about it." Show your teen that you appreciate her mature approach to such a sensitive topic. This way when you bring it up again she'll remember that she agreed to hear more from you about it, and that you rewarded her for her positive attitude.
If your teen acts surprised or insulted, do not push the issue. Just smile an understanding smile and say "I understand. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it's just something I noticed and I want you to know that you can talk to me about it at any time." Wait another week or two to see if the subject pops up on her radar or if she approaches you about it. If not, approach her again and tell her you've been thinking about what you said about her weight. Again, you don't want to hurt her feelings, but as her parent (guardian, caretaker, etc) you love her and are concerned about her health. Would she mind just listening to some of your thoughts on the matter and taking them into consideration?
You should also consider the possibility that your teen may be more receptive to having this type of conversation with someone other than you - perhaps a friend or another authority figure. Do not take any brush off's personally. Simply encourage her to speak with a trusted person in her life - someone she respects and listens to, and someone you trust to have a positive influence on her.
Receptive or reluctant, here are some important do's and dont's to consider when speaking with your teen:
DO introduce the topic when your teen is in a positive frame of mind. Motivation is the key to successful weight loss. If your teen is down about her weight - or anything else - piling another problem onto her back will just cause her to sink lower and you will decrease your chances of making an impression.
DO NOT blame your child for her weight. 9 times out of 10 an overweight child is the product of a home that is not focused on healthy habits. Accept some accountability and tell your teen you want to make changes - for yourself, for her, for the household.
DO be the best role model you possibly can. This means lots of positive reinforcement and as much support as you can provide in the way of encouragement, healthy foods and snacks, and providing structure and guidance to your teen.
DO speak to your teen in terms of her "health", versus her "weight." Your goal is to introduce your teen to healthier eating habits and a healthier lifestyle. Losing weight is the benefit.
DO NOT point out other overweight teens or compare her to anyone else. As adults we are extremely sensitive about our body image - for teens this is even greater as they are much more impressionable and subject to peer feedback.
DO talk to your teen about the benefits to her. Ask her how she thinks losing weight and being healthy will help her, and help illustrate what she says with some personal examples.
DO NOT become the food police. It's important that your teen feel comfortable and motivated through positive reinforcement to work on her weight loss goals. Any negative feedback could deflate her and sabotage her efforts to work harder.
DO encourage your teen toward more activity. Join her in a walk or suggest a regular walking partner. Buy a mini exercise trampoline or a dance exercise DVD ... something fun but that also burns calories!
DO make sure your teen is getting enough sleep. Research shows that teens who do not get enough sleep each night are more prone to weight problems.
DO go food shopping with your teen so that you can pick out healthy foods and snacks together. Plan your weekly menu together so that she knows what to expect and can even contribute to creating dishes.
DO NOT compete or compare with your daughter. Although you want to model appropriate behavior for your teen, you do not want to intimidate her or make her feel envious. Show her love and support exclusive of her efforts to lose weight. Your weight and your body, or those of her friends, should not factor into her equation.
For more tips and articles on helping your overweight teen, please visit http://www.teenscanloseweight.com
Alanna is a weight loss coach for post pregnancy moms as well as teenagers, helping them achieve their family, health and wellness, mind, body and fitness goals. You can view more of her work at http://www.mommytummy911.com